Love of a Lifetime
by winter-rain
Summary: Severus loses Claire in his youth and becomes a Death-Eater. What will he do when she finally appears and asks him to pay the ultimate price? Where will his loyalties lie? To Albus? To Voldemort? Or to Claire and through her, the Malfoys?


Characters belong to JK Rowling. 

Rating: PG, it improves later on

Summary: Severus loses Claire in his youth and becomes a Death-Eater. What will he do when she finally appears and asks him to pay the ultimate price? Where will his loyalties lie? To Albus? To Voldemort? Or to Claire and through her, the Malfoys? 

**Chapter 1 Love and Pain**

"Claire! What's wrong?" Severus asked, noting her hunched shoulders and trembling figure. 

"Nothing. I'll leave immediately," she replied tersely, flicking her long black hair back and wiping the trail of tears on her pale face.

"Leave?" 

"Yes... I shouldn't be here," Claire whispered. "I should never have come…"

"What are you talking about. Claire, tell me what's wrong," Severus asked worriedly. "Is it something I've done to upset you?"

"No, the mistake was mine. I thought I would be able to handle it, seeing you with her again. But I can't," her voice broke, "I can't. You have no idea what it does to me. I thought I could afford to be generous, that nothing could come from it, that you would still be mine in the end. What a fool I was." She laughed bitterly, "I should leave before I do something we'll all regret."

"Claire, stay. I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry if I've been spending too much time with Lily. I was under the impression that you didn't mind. If it bothers you that much, I'll stay away from her," Severus's panicked voice broke through her silence. 

"You don't know what you're saying. Do you know why I destroyed that potion you handed to her? Because I put poison in it. It would have killed her. I wanted her to," Claire said softly. "I thought…with her gone, you would be mine again. I was such a fool."

Severus broke the shocked silence. "But you didn't. You threw away the potion before she drank it. Before…

"I killed her?" Claire laughed. "Want to know why? I finally realized that even with her gone, I would still be second place in your heart. You love her, and even if she was gone, nothing would change that. Now do you understand why I must leave? I don't think I'll be able to control myself again, I don't know what I'm capable of doing anymore."

"Claire, no matter how evil you think you are, I'll always be there for you. Always. Nothing will change that. I've vowed to stand by you, through whatever may come, 'til death do us part and all that remember? But for us, not even Death can separate us," he said in a low voice, enveloping her into a strong embrace. "You're mine, now and forever. Don't think you can get away from me."

"Severus," Claire cried, tears flowing freely now, falling onto his dark robes. His strong arms gently stroked her through her cloak and robes. Her beautiful face was nestled next to his, resting on his shoulder. Gently, he raised her head up and took her lips, tasting her. The gentle kiss became urgent, as their tongues battled, a clash of will, but also of love and pain. 

"Severus," she broke off the kiss, "grant me one more favor?" Her exotic doe-eyes pleaded with him.

"Anything within my power, my sweet," he sighed, knowing he had lost. She would leave him, again.

"Walk me out of the grounds of Hogworts."

"Let's go then." 

~~~

The lonely pair walked slowly through the doors of Hogworts and onto the grounds. The night was cold with snow lightly falling, although it was only November. Severus glanced at the woman by his side. Her face was drawn and pale, her eyes shimmering as if unshed tears were swimming in her depths. He would miss her terribly when she left, yet he had no idea how to make her stay. _I would cast the Imperious Curse itself if it would make her stay. Gods, how has this come to pass? How could I have hurt the one person I care about this deeply?_

As they neared the barrier surrounding Hogworts, Claire turned towards Severus. "Sev, I'll never forget you," she leaned in closer, wrapping her arms around him, "thanks for the beautiful memories you have given me. Those were the best moments in my life." Quickly, she withdrew and climbed into the coach before he could see the tears that threatened never to stop.

~ ~ ~

Severus woke from his nightmare in a cold sweat. _It __was that same dream … the one that had been plaguing him for 10 years. __Or rather, her…his lips twisted into a painful grimace. __Claire Malfoy, the woman of his dreams,,, now isn't that a double entendre, Snape thought derisively. __I was such a fool to let her go like that, I should have done something, anything to keep her by my side. Instead, he had stood by and watched as she disappeared from his life, leaving only a painful emptiness in his heart. Oh, he had searched endlessly for her, wasting most of the Snape fortune trying to find out any bit of information on her whereabouts, but she had disappeared. Even her family had no idea where she was, the ones that cared to look for her. But the woman had disappeared as if into thin air, no one had seen or heard anything about her since the night she had left him. __Where are you, Claire. Come back to me, you have no idea how much I need you. Severus laughed bitterly at his weakness. __The feared Potion Master of Hogworts, pining for a woman that he had betrayed ten years ago? _

He had searched everywhere, even into the darker aspects of the wizard world._ I became a Deatheater for you, Claire. You were always drawn to the Dark Arts, I was so sure I would find you among Voldemort's forces. I know what you're like, I've seen the destruction you can bring about when you're in pain. But what he had discovered had been even more nerve wracking. She hadn't been there. None of the Deatheaters, had ever heard from her again. There had been rumors and speculations or course, of what had become of Lucius' little sister, the fair Lady Claire Malfoy, but no one had ever been able to find her. She had been a favorite among the pure blooded wizarding families that served the Dark Lord and her disappearance was a loss felt by all. But it was Severus that suffered the most, for he had been in love with her when she left and had been unable to keep her by his side.    _

Reviews appreciated! Even if it is rather bad and short. But there's more coming, I promise


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